A Year I Didn’t Think I’d Survive

Exactly a year ago, today I took my first step into the classroom. Like always I was a little too early and there were barely any people around. Looking for my class, I stumbled into a staff room and foolishly asked where the Department of Criminology was, foolishly, not because I was the guy who came in 19 days late but because I asked that question in the Department of Criminology. Little did I know that the friendly professor who patiently asked me a few questions and figured out which class I was supposed to go to would be the Head of the Department. Interestingly, I had chosen an outfit completely out of place - I wore a shirt on top of which I decided to put a sweater vest. Very, I mean very out of place given the Chennai heat at that point in time. This led to me being called the "sweater guy" for a while, and fortunately or unfortunately, I still am the sweater guy but I ofcourse don't put sweaters now.

After coming back home I was certain of one thing - I would not last a month in this place, but life had other plans. Showing up to a place 6 days a week for 3 years? Did not sound like something I could do especially when I had been on a break and away from any sorts of academic institutions for about 2 years. I was used to being confined to my room at home and working on stuff remotely, studying remotely and being connected to humans remotely. And now, all of a sudden I had to start working in person, study in person and more importantly connect to people IRL. It sounded like a nightmare and was one for a long while. 

My dad advised me to stay low profile in college, and I tried, and failed miserably at it. Infact, by the end of my first week of college, I had requested for permission to attend an event in Malaysia. Once I was back, somehow I wasn't just the awkward new kid anymore - I was the awkward new kid who was loved by most of the faculty in the college. After that incident I understood that the only way to survive here was to mind my own business, study for exams, go on as many 'ODs' as possible and explore the hell out of the world.

In the process of trying and adjusting to this new world I was pushed into, I started exploring things I never thought I could like research and being able to organise events from scratch in less than an hour. This exploration didn't quiet stop there, it extended into me trying anything and everything I could possibly do like write essays, go for a hindi presentation (me doing something in hindi is less likely than anyone putting ketchup on icecream) and even made it to a state level elocution competition. After a while this place I dreaded got a special place in my heart, not because I loved being there but because I was able to find myself there. 

It has been one year and I am still here. I can not imagine not being here not because I made friends (I did not make many), but because of things I have learnt, experiences I have procured, and mentors I got. This one year has taught me the value of human connection, the value of freedom, the value of stepping out of my comfort zone and the value of living on my own terms without fearing the world.  My college life has not been one which we can compare with movies, but it has certainly had a lot of spicy drama right from seeing friend groups break to having heard rumours about me, it has certainly been a roller coaster I have wanted to jump off from on multiple occasions. But, there are things that have made me stay - the mentors I found, incidents that taught me life, a handful of people I can't imagine college without, being forced into Rotaract and other college-related activities now as a second year student. This last year has made me realise it is not where you are that matters, it is what you do there that matters and what I have spent the last 365 days doing speaks for itself, I have never felt a deeper sense of belonging than right now

1 award from the Governor, 3 International Trips, 5 Papers, 7 Subjects a semester, 9 policy drafts and numerous conferences later, I am still here and will be for another 2 years. Now, it’s a whole year’s tale — can’t cover it in a single blog. So here’s to more unfiltered content!